Summer 2009, (2nd Quarter.)

So I guess the whole world has heard by now that the king of Pop is gone. May his soul rest in peace and may twitter be revived from the havoc of the Michael Jackson Updates so I can go back to pleasing my few followers with shitty updates about how I want to drink KFC gravy like it’s soup (Because really that’s what it should be. Soup. It’s too damn good.) By the way I have a twitter account now for all you status update addicts. Yes I damn well caved in and it took all there was in me to try stopping myself, but twitter won the battle. Twitter always wins. If you feel like following me(These updates are sure to make your day because they’re seriously so fucking stupid hilarious.) the link is http://www.twitter.com/keonecra/

ON ANOTHER NOTE:
Who the fuck loves the summer time? I do. That’s why I went to the beach. That shit is free this year so I went ahead and got the worst tan lines ever. I looked like I was wearing clothes when I was naked. Who the fuck wants to look like they are wearing clothes when they wanna be naked. It just makes shit even harder and 10X more confusing. I’m gonna be cool and post some pics. If you wanna be cool and come out to meet me, I’ll be at the beach every Sunday eating like a glutenous nun.

Here is a paparazzi stylez shot of me putting water in a frisbee to shit disturb other homies buried in the sand.

I know you guys didn’t expect me to be this small, but I’m a petite internet phenom who is jealous of these other two buddies’ abilities to grow natural tits.

I shall return to list the cool shit I learned over the 2nd quarter of 2009. Till then I’ll keep you posted. Keep it trill, homies!

-Keotron!

Fresh Outta Kan-Yeeeezys

That’s right. Once again I got to bask in the glory of yet another unattainable “ballerific” pair of Nike wonder. Our store recently attained the privs to release these rare gems and the turn out for them was phenomenal. The Air Yeezy’s were so exclusive only a few stores around North America were able to get them in and The Urban Bakery(My store) was one of them. These shoes were so rare, they sell on eBay upwards from 600 to 1,000US dollars. It makes the retail price seem mediocre.($279) There were WAY more people wanting to purchase the shoes than there were pairs of shoes to be purchased. There were many disappointed faces among the crowd ready to choke the shit out of anything as the few lucky shoppers walked away with the most hyped up pair of Nikes of the year in a matter of minutes. I was just happy to witness so many people showing up to appreciate the shoes and take part in the excitement. I also felt bad for the people that walked away disappointed. While you’re here, please give my dope-ass employers some love and check out the swag on our blog at HTTP://www.tub204.com

I’ll put up new posters soon I promise! These things sell out fast!!!
Till next time!
-Keo Necra

KICKSTART MY HEART!

Import season is slowly rolling around the corner so if you wanna see me in your city simply get your HIN promotors to shoot my ass an e-mail at keonecra@hotmail.com. Other than that this year’s import show is going to be the first lights out show at the convention center. I hope the people in the show bring their own snake lights and christmas lights because there is no way in fucking hell I’m sharing mine. My first lights out show was 4 years ago in Boston. It was mad dope. A lot of the people out a lot of time into decorating the living shit out of their displays. (Clouds, garden lights and or lawn gnomes or even both)

But you and I both know that nothing beats the snake lights that surround each car. I believe it’ll be a pretty staple because not a lot of us are creative. God, I hope they bring in the fog machine this year. That’ll toot my horn for sure. I hope they actually do have killer ass gnomes there.. Well if not I guess I’ll have to settle with looking at the gnome-like pip-squeaks that go there with their parents. (They usually wear the socks and sandal combination.) All I have to do is use my imagination. Hell, I’m pretty much going to decorate my booth by sitting in their lawn chair and smiling at disinterested bitches and trying to sell them my posters and succeeding in taking their lunch money.

Anywhosal, I’ll have more updates on this soon! All you have to know is that I’ll be modeling with my friend AYA who’s virtually the spitting image of Jessica Alba. Give her some love on the WPG Prelude website! Other than that, I’ll be coming out with a new video blog sometime this week if I’m not busy doing photoshoots for the show!

-Keeeeeeeey-yo!

POSTERS BE UNDER COSTRUCTION!

I’m trying super hard(well not really) to maintain my super cool blog! One of my main goals is making sure you’re able to download my posters if you’re too lazy to wait for the mail. (Lazy asses) Same deal, you get the full sized file so you can print em however you like. Pretty sure they’ll be cheaper that way as well. In other works, I’m also working to get new pictures printed and sold for this year’s driven auto trade show on the 25th of July. So get ready freddies! Keo’s going in for the kill.. I mean smile.. Let’s just end it with ‘my ass will be modeling.’ Posters should be up by nest vid blog! CHEERS!
-Keo

NAKED.

So a lot of people are making a big deal out of the naked photos leaked on the internet of Rihanna and Cassie. First of all, What the heck would possess a person to get a nipple ring. The healing process is a bitch and a smelly bitch to be more precise. Shit won’t be kinky until it has been on the 1 year healing course. Womp womp womp! And quite frankly I think they’re fucking nasty. I would pick Rihanna’s picks over Cassie for the ironic classy factor she poised in her picture. Whereas Cassie took the most unflattering vagina spreading shitty phone cam pictures I’ve ever seen. There was something unattractive in her shocked face look. And there wasn’t anything alluring in the way she let her hello kitty say hi to the world. Rihanna on the other hand.. Classy poses, girl. Classy poses. Now there’s a fallen celebrity that knows how to work it. But no matter how I look at it, Megan Fox still gets my vote of confidence. It’s because I like looking at her wear tight things and even with clothes on, shes a fuckin’ goddess. So the winner of the leaked nude photo war is Megan Fox with clothes on hands down even though she was not even talked about in my video blog. Who cares! Shes HOT!

The Hills and Brody Jenner.

Picture of the day! Everyone still has a chance to come up with a funny caption! So keep commenting and messaging!..

“We’re just two guys and we’re having a good time, having a good time.”

So I didn’t write a blog the night Brody Jenner came to my city to party with the girls here who love him so much. I figured that the best way to show how unimportant he was to me, was to not blog about it right away. Well, Brody Jenner came to Winnipeg on the 6th of May and partied at club republic, I believe. I know this because on the 6th, 98 percent of the female friends on my facebook changed their statuses to something somewhere along the lines of “I’M GOING TO REPUBLIC TONIGHT TO SEE MY HUSBAND, BRODY JENNER.” You can probably tell I make up the other 2 percent of the females on my facebook friend list that was not interested in partying with Brody Jenner that night. And I’m gonna keep addressing him as Brody Jenner because typing Brody Jenner anywhere on my blog will probably catch more female attention to that name than to the rest of the shit that I am writing.. So… BRODY JENNER.

You’re probably wondering why Brody Jenner seems so awfully important to blog about. But it’s because as if being asked to watch the show every Thursday wasn’t bad enough, I ended up getting more than the tolerable earful amount about Brody Jenner the night after he came. All my female friends usually message me things more along the lines of “Holy shit you missed out! ________ totally made out with Brody Jenner so that means you could have too!” For the last time I’m married to James fuckin’ Dean! And quite frankly I’m pretty loyal to the hubby.
=Keotron

Can’t help myself.

It’s 2:39am in Winnipeg and I’m up thinking about how lucky I am to be loved (: Shower me with love because it’s pretty much Keo’s love time. Honestly I want to just end all the what the fuckery of the world because I think everyone should be loved! If you’re single, love yourself! If you’ve got someone to love then you’re probably just as peachy as me (:

It’s the summer time soon and the best shit ever is having a summer fling. Especially at the beach. One of my goals in life is to just be single and meet someone completely amazing randomly at a beach during the evening and talk the night away with him by the bond fire as the evening progressively gets darker and our conversations deeper. What? I can’t have a day where I can fantasize for no apparent reason? Wanna fight about it? Dude, When I say I like long walks on the beach I damn well mean it. I’m a lucky girl (8

On another note:<3
“I let your pretty blue eyes exit in and out of my body like true sapphires because the only thing you ask of me from me is me and not the world..” -Keo Necra

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

So it’s my birthday today! Yay, but instead of getting sweet comments saying I look great on my birthday, I get abuse! And it’s the good kind of abuse! I love it when my friends tease me and I think the most frequent message of the day was “Happy Birthday, half cracker!” or “Happy birthday, Keo. You’re fucking white. You’re now ‘Keo White’ because you’re white.” Asides from the lovely racist comments from my friends, I logged on to Youtube to check out the love comments! But there were a few mentioning that I gained weight.. and lost boobs. I can assure you that I still have questionably real tatas (They aint going no where!) and as for the weight, I guess I’m getting fat in the face some how but I kinda dig it. (I blame the lighting!) Here’s the most recent picture of me so you can be the judge as to which I’ve gained or lost weight Enjoy!


Yup, boobs still there.

YouTube Partnership as a Birthday Gift from YouTube!

Okay, to bank on what I said about facebook in my latest vlog (If it’s been approved yet..) I wish I can invite you all to my birthday celebration next week: April 29, 2009, but wordpress doesn’t allow me to tag people I don’t really know (Although I wish it could) and WordPress doesn’t allow me to tag at all. But I’m super stoked that I finally got partnered on youtube after how long already. To be honest all I wanted was to be able to have a banner on top of the description box where I can have everyone come up with a gif design for me! Tell ya what! First person who reads that and submit me a nice banner(That is sans the phallic like drawings you would find on douche bag facebook walls.) I will send you a Free Keo Necra Poster! Something’s either wrong with my usb thumb drive or youtube because I’m trying to load the corresponding video to this post right now and it’s not quite working to my advantage, actually… Oh yeah, did I mention I got partnered and it’s my birthday next week!!!
-Keener McKeo!

1st third of 2009

Here are a few things I’ve learned over the first third of 2009. 1.) First and foremost, all arrogant 30 year old photographers who need Rogain to keep being vane, act like insecure little 14 year olds and are against pretty girlfriends having dude buddies who are more attractive then they are. 2.) Dating the broski that made him most insecure is probably the best choice you could ever make because he probably wants to double that Rogain dose to keep up with how much hair a real man should be attaining. (y) 3.) When your boyfriend looks at you tenderly in the eyes with a spark of happiness and tells you “Baby, I’m drunk.” It is sufficient to accept that as him saying “I love you.” So the correct response to tell him “Me Too.” Remember to only say that when you really feel it. Till then keep up with the drinking, girl. It’s the 2009 next level I love you shit. 4.) Having crushes are fun times! Don’t be too crushed when your crush doesn’t crush you the way you crush them. Move on to the next victim. 5.) It’s called tanning, not burning. Lesson learned. Enough said. 6.) When trying to recover from a tan burn, remember that just because it seems like a vacant parking lot and its late at night, and you’re with your friends, it doesn’t mean no one is out there catching a glimpse of you running around the parking lot with your sweats around your ankles trying to cool off your burnt ass. Lesson learned. 7.) When you’re red like a cherry and you have a Keo like personality, no matter what people will think you’re drunk. 8.) When someone says “Keo has the most fake looking boobies.” You might as well take that as a victory because there will be no one else out there who will address you and say “Keo has the realist looking boobies.” 9.) Fake boobs are very fucking painful… very very painful. 10.) Now that you’ve started tanning, your teeth are ridiculously white and your boobs are questionably real, you look like a product by Matell. Move over Barbie. 11.) Never teach Brent anything about the blackberry messenger secrets. You will never catch a blink of sleep without wanting to beat Brent till he shits out his blackberry. 12.) There is no way I’ll ever get used to people stopping me on the street for pictures… or at work.. or at American Apparel.. 13.) Knowing that you’re a player yourself, dating another player isn’t a good idea because you know every trick and they know every trick. Thus is the most stoic relationship EVER.. But fun (y) The break up is always the most painless because you both get what you want <3 14.) When your boyfriend takes you to a shitty bar he loves you, because he knows that every other douche bag will be turned down profusely on the count of they’re douche bags. Nice play. (y) 15.) When at university, it’s a very good idea to moon everyone in the cafeteria because Kaitlyn wants to know what color your panties are. 16.) Sending pictures of your boobs via BBM to Brent is funny because it distracts his ass. 17.) Brent found out that you can send voice clips over BBM the hard way, disturbing the peace by looking like a racist (y) 18.) Pretending to be someone else on BBM and defaming their character is always a good idea. ALWAYS. Because it’s fun. Why get mad? Just turn off your blackberry. 19.) Utilizing school property such as the Mac Computers is bad ass to pass the time. Like holy shit, they have the photobooth application that can keep me occupied for atleast 2 hours with Syvixay, Propp, Blicq, and Reid. I’ll load those fucking gems later. 20.) What’s up with ‘azns’ trying to rock the hipster attire? You can tell they’re trying too hard with their ineffectual fake glasses and full priced new tie-dyed pants. Real hipsters are usually broke and spend as little as possible and they look cool by accident. All that hipsters talk about are sales and value village. Hipsters love indie music and most of them don’t even own blackberries or iphones. Most azns don’t even know what and have never been to a folk fest is so I wonder why they try so hard to be something they’re not. If they’re trying to break out of the ed hardy, christian audigier stereotype they’re doing it all wrong. Instead of finding their own autonomy they’re pooling into another style to copy. I’m not trying to be white and I’m not trying to be anything. I’m just me. If you wanna put a label on it, do it, but I won’t adhere to it. Learn to love yourself, not someone elses look. Originality comes from self love. Period.

Till the 2nd third of 2009, I shall update later
-Keo Necra