My goal is to be better than none other than the person I was yesterday. It’s a realistic goal and too many people strive to achieve the impossible standards given by someone else. It’s as impossible as wifing James Dean.. Hell, at this point I’ll even take him post the accident. But that’s not the important thing. The important thing is the fact that people who compare themselves to other people have a hard time bettering themselves because they focus on being better than another person not the person who’s important. Themselves. Darns I just made it a bit more confusing…
It does get hard sometimes because you look at another person and you’re thinking “I can never be her.” But you have to think about you. How will being relatively like her benefit you? It’s happened more often than not in my instance because I was always short of good enough for everyone else. Like how the fat kid could never be the hot girl’s man because he only has one thing wrong with him.. He’s fat(go figure) other then that, I’d tap the shit out of him. But back to the subject at hand.. As much as I’d like to paint some sort of rosie picture on life, it’s hard as I’ve gotten my heart broken, and fists smashed more often than. It happens all the time. It’ll happen enough times to teach you that life isn’t your friend, no no, life wants to shove shit so far up your ass that it’s impossible to deficate!
I meet so many bullshit people and they pull me out of my misery only to get the best of me. It’s like being a dude about to bone a very hot chick and then she tells you she’s on her period and then you say “HEY YOU’RE NOT! I DON’T SEE THE BLOOD!” And then you punch her in the neck! People in life pretend to care, but when you finally give enough of yourself to be happy, they fuck you over and peace the fuck out without reserve like it’s a just kidding joke..
I live an amazing life and I love everything about it, but sometimes sharing it with someone special is hard. I find all kinds of wrong people left and right. They all think I want a person who can sweep me off my feet but I’m not all about that bullshit. I wanna play video games and insult each other sarcastically and laugh. I wanna go for ice cream and push every button. I want a bad ass not a pussy cake. I want is a simple man who likes me for me and not because of aesthetics or fame. Let’s face it, If I was all personality and no looks I would be pretty plain and shitty. It makes it pretty easy for guys to think they can play around with my heart and the sad thing is that more often than not I would let them. There is not much to me and I just want someone to appreciate that I’m a Plain Jane not Miss Complicated and that I just want to make someone happy. It doesn’t take a lot to make me happy. I can find happiness in myself. To males, I’m always short of something. I know I’m not perfect, and I’m not looking to be But to me I’m kind of special even though it’s hard to believe sometimes I just gotta do it.. Believe.
Sometimes I think about my regrets (and I have a lot of them.) But I appreciate every single regret.. If I never get fucked over, I’ll never be less naiive. Being less naiive does not mean skimping out on adventures- woah woah woah slow down there, speed racer. It just tells me to be more careful. Never fear living.
